Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
