you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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