GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize