I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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