I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
