Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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