If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
