I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
