she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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