After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
