so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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