It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
