she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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