I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just gargled with NyQuil
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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