We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
