Will you blow on my dice?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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