I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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