Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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