My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
