Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
