my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
