i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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