hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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