grandma shit on top of the toilet
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
