Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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