I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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