I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
