you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
