i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
