not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You were trust falling into bushes
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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