i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
