hotel room ftw
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
