so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
