it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
