My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize