wat bout pragnant strippers??
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
