All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
