I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
