summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize