FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
birth control should be required to get into college
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
