Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
