I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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