please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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