No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
