there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
