i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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