we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
