Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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