so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
