How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
