Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
