I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
