we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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