So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
