New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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