that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
