I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
