She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
