You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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