I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize